Weddings Cure Cancer

At least that’s my theory. And I don’t mean planning a wedding for yourself, that may cause cancer. Another theory. I mean weddings where you get to watch two friends make that special commitment to each other and you get dressed up and then you get to eat delicious things and drink for free. It is like an explosion of happy things and if that doesn’t cure cancer I guess we’ll have to turn to science.

I have three compelling examples supporting this theory:

1. The first trip I made after my initial surgery, which I had a really tough time recovering from, was for my childhood friend’s wedding. In an example of the universe aligning, she happened to be marrying a friend of mine from high school so it was great to see two people I knew and cared for separately find each other and make each other happy. I wasn’t sure how I’d do, but I made it to the wedding and through the ceremony and it was wonderful. I really love the photo I got of us too.

Maria's wedding

Maria’s wedding

1. In early December when my immune system was at one of it’s lowest points, I flew connecting flights to SF for a wedding and did not get sick. I did wear the shameful SARS mask, but whatever. It was flu season and I rode on four airplanes and spent time in 4 different airports, two of them multiple times. I also managed to do everything I had planned. I also got on a plane four days after getting dosed with poison and still had a great time. The only low point was when I wanted to murder the Southwest desk lady who suggested I waited for everyone to board if I was having a tough time, right before announcing that anyone with children or disabilities that need to pre-board should see her. I still wish some bad things on her that I will not put in print.

2. I had my final big surgery the beginning of March and a wedding in Kansas City last weekend. I made it and even danced. This is just ridiculous because I was told 4-6 weeks to be able to go back to work (if I had a job) and that the drains usually stay in really long in the hip. I got those suckers out in record time and was off the pain meds after two weeks. Advil is a good friend of mine these days, but only intermittently. It also came in perfect time because I was feeling really low. I think it was a mix of recovery (pretty normal for major surgeries) and being home a lot by myself (and fuzzy companions that never want to talk about Rob Kardashian posting that photo of the Gone Girl covered in blood and comparing it to Kim, I mean WTF?). I wasn’t homesick for SF, but I was really homesick for my friends and family in SF. The KC wedding included a lot of them which was an amazing pick me up when I really needed it.

Next up we have three more weddings between now and the end of May and then another in November. I’m pretty sure this means I’ll never get cancer again.


What Does Taylor Swift Have To Do With Me Having Cancer?

Is a perfectly reasonable question to ask and until today I would have looked at you like you were crazy. Today was one of those one step forward, two steps back kind of days. Or a more accurate and less polite way to put it is, today was one of those days that I got bitch slapped by my cancer and reminded that I’m not in charge most of the time.

As I mentioned before, chemo round 2 has been so much better than chemo round 1. It is still really sucky, but I haven’t felt like I was in hell or lost 14lbs in 5 days so it’s a vast improvement. I just want you lucky non-chemo experiencing people to understand when I say “way better” it’s a really low bar so hold the parade. The main difference is that we got my nausea mostly manageable and I’m taking three different things so I can sleep so I no longer feel like I’m an inmate in Guantanamo (we all know Obama wasn’t going to let me out).

The problem with feeling this much better in comparison is that I stopped putting my cancer first and started thinking I was a normal, somewhat limited, human being again. This was incorrect and as my dear cousin Chris would say, “Rookie Mistake”.

It turns out, even when one is feeling more human and like they can make plans and eat, and be active with their visitors, one still needs to pace themselves and act like they are prone to get sick at any moment. This sounds really lame, but if I had been acting like I’m less than one week into my chemo I probably wouldn’t have gotten super sick. I was already cheating because I went in for fluids and anti-nausea meds at DHMC on Friday. I think I probably would have gotten sick anyway because I was probably due one way or another, but getting really sick when you’ve eaten things you apparently shouldn’t be eating (bye yogurt, it’s been fun), didn’t take an anti-nausea drug because you were ready to be off of them (guess what, you weren’t), and you made plans to go out to lunch and for a long drive (hah), is going to be way worse sick than just normal I had chemo a few days ago and am still sick sick. Or at least I assume so since I didn’t get to experience that one.

The worst part was that I had two amazing wonderful friends that were visiting me that I had to leave to go be sick for like and hour and then come down to tell them I couldn’t hang out. Really really lame. However we did get to hangout most of the morning and last night and I am so very happy I got the time. I wish I had a photo of us for this post, but I thought we’d have plenty of time today. Even though I got bitch slapped by cancer today, I still had a really great time with them and it didn’t ruin it, just made me appreciate it more. I unfortunately don’t have that photo I wanted of all three of us, so I’m posting this in the meantime from 12 years ago when our friendship began.

cute mike and me

Please note that Save the Last Dance is playing behind this prom pic

me and ricky

Early selfies in the bathroom

Thanks guys, it’s been a tough few days and you were rays of sunshine and homemade empanadas.

Ok so back to Taylor Swift. As I mentioned, I was really sick. Like laying on towel (I’m not a heathen) on bathroom floor in misery sick. What gets stuck in my head during this hour+ of misery? “Now I’m laying on the cold hard ground. Ugh! Trouble! Trouble!” Which I then resentfully thought to myself “That bitch doesn’t even know the meaning of trouble. Try cancer.” Sometimes we all need a little bit of a self indulgent moment, and sometimes that moment is hating on Taylor Swift.

Also, fourth musketeer if you’re reading this. It’s been a long time and you were missed.

‘Twas the Night Before Surgery…

Or afternoon rather.

So yesterday I did this:


I had been going back and forth about my hair for a few weeks. Most likely it’s going to bail on me during chemo, so I knew I’d want to go short before that happened, but I started thinking about cutting it before surgery. Long hair is hard to wash when you have limited mobility, it takes forever to dry, and I kept shedding from stress which was really annoying as well. There’s also so little that I have control over right now, that it seemed like an opportunity to feel like I was taking some back.

Obviously I wasn’t going to just got for a cute short cut, I wanted something badass to help give me some extra oomph through this as well, so I decided on a faux hawk with blue tips. The best parts were that I was able to donate my hair to Locks of Love and get it cut by Stephanie who started cutting my hair when I was 12 in Vermont and has done it through four proms, multiple lengths, and on and off over 18 years now.

photo 1


photo 2 (1)


It’s a drastic change, but hair grows back and being on the eve of another drastic change it was nice to be able to choose this one.

Here’s how you say goodbye to your long hair with awesome friends:


I’m pretty scared about tomorrow and not really sure how to prepare for it. Rena and Vivian are coming over this afternoon and we’re going to shoot again with my Dad and A. which should be fun. It’s a beautiful day so I’ll spend some of it outside since I’ll be shut in for a while.

Before I go I did want to say thank you so much to everyone who sent stuff from the registry that my friend Maia created. I continue to be blown away by everyone’s kindness and support through this.

See you all on the other side.


So I’ve been a slow poster… last week was a bit insane and heading to New Orleans Friday to see the future inlaws so I make no promises for this week either… Especially because I already have an email in my work email promising lots of work for Monday.

But if you haven’t already discovered Sassy Gay Friend videos, you can thank me now. My sassy gay friends for the most part are all on the east coast and I miss them constantly… enjoy!