I dropped off of the blogging map because I had a big life changing secret and then, when it wasn’t a secret, I wasn’t sure how to write about it.
Pregnancy is a hard thing for me to wrap my head around as a blogging topic. The last time I was chronicling anything, blogging was my way of coping and staying connected to people. This time I’m not looking to chronicle, just write about certain moments and perspectives as they come. I’m also figuring out how much I want to share.
Part of becoming a whole person again was reestablishing privacy and personal, things I couldn’t really have as a full time patient. I actually had a doctor’s visit this week where that really hit home for me. There was a resident in my cancer check-in, so an extra person in the room, and I felt a little weird having my boobs out with a stranger. During treatment I lost count and all sense of giving a fuck of the number of people who looked at, prodded, cut, took images of, etc.
I’m back to being a person again. And I’m also the frontline protection to a person that hasn’t even truly happened yet. It’s a lot of responsibility and new territory.
Being pregnant and a Mom is also incredibly controversial. There’s so much Mom policing out there that it’s intimidating and frustrating. It makes writing about it in a public forum difficult. I’m going to write about my experience, from my pov. I don’t speak for all Moms, much like cancer patients, we’re all unique snowflakes in what we go through and the best ways to cope.
I’m totally interested in other opinions and experiences (unless it’s a terrifying birth story, sorry that happened, but not looking for those and I have my own medical war stories). Feel free to ask questions, if I don’t answer it’s because I’m not interested in sharing on my blog. This is a dictatorship and not a democracy after all…
So let’s give this a go…