I’m split on the thankful piece. About 50% of me is very thankful and about 50% is very surly (and understandably so I believe). I’m going to try and focus on the thankful part right now.
What I’m thankful for:
1. My health. This one is a mixed bag, but I’m really thankful that I’m not sicker. I could have just as easily had cancer that had spread and I’m thankful it hadn’t. I’m thankful that it wasn’t in my lymph nodes and that even with the complications, I’ve healed well from my surgeries and haven’t had any illnesses through chemo (just knocked on wood). I’m thankful that I don’t need radiation or more chemo than I’m getting.
2. I’m thankful that the rest of my family seems to be healthy for the most part. This is a doozy and I think it would be tough on all of us if we had to worry about someone else this much too.
3. I’m thankful for A. I’m not surprised by how amazing he’s been, but I am so thankful that we found each other and decided to spend our lives together. I feel very lucky. I say “we” about almost everything I go through and have to mentally remind myself sometimes to say “I” because he’s with me every step of the way.
4. I’m thankful that my parents and I have the relationship the we do. I’m glad that I have their support and that we could live with them until we got our feet back under us. I know it’s hard for them that I’m not completing treatment where they can see me every day and I’m sorry for that, but I’m glad that we already had the relationship where we talk often.
5. I’m thankful for the last two visits I had with my brother and getting to meet his girlfriend who’s pretty rad.
6. I’m thankful for my extended family who did things like send me what I needed to be comfortably after surgery, send me an impossible 3D pirate ship puzzle, call daily for a while, fly across the country to spend time with my during chemo, take me golfing and for beers after I got diagnosed, and came by the hospital when I was staying there.
7. I’m thankful for A.’s (and now my) family who we’re now local with. We just had our first New Orleans thanksgiving together down here and it was great. I’m already looking forward to Christmas when more will be here. They’ve been so supportive from recommending an acupuncturist to taking me to the pharmacy when A. had an interview. I’ve also enjoyed how much the niece and nephew scar the crap out of our cats.
8. I’m thankful for my friends. I’ve mentioned before that I’m completely blown away by all the people who have offered their support and read this blog (I have analytics on this because I’m a total nerd). The things that people have sent have been so thoughtful, some being what I need physically, and some being what I need mentally because it makes me feel like you guys get me. You guys help me get through this impossible thing.
9. I’m thankful for the Hasenkitties. Their comfort, weirdness, and inability to know anything is wrong is what I need some days.
10. I’m thankful to have finally made it to New Orleans. It’s been a long road to get here.
11. I’m thankful to have 3 Taxol treatments left and to be chemo and cancer free in 2015.
12. I’m thankful for the puppy we’ll be getting in the not too distant future. The optimistic look on life and unconditional love is going to be a good reward for getting through this.
Apparently the last time I did this was 2011, so here I go again.