Boobgate

If anyone thinks I should not have shared this story, talk to my Aunty Babs, because she encouraged me.

I have a funny story about how this whole “I have breast cancer” thing started. Crazy right? Well I’m in a shitty mood today about things, so I’m going to write my funny story.

First, the back story:

A. and I have been together about 9.5 years, we started dating in college which was about 45min from my parent’s house, so we spent a fair amount of time there when we first started dating. My family already knew him because we’d been really close friends for the 3 years before and he’d been over many times.

Fast forward to 2 years ago, we’d been together for over 7 years, were married, and living in SF. I come back home for a few days the end of June by myself and my Mom flies back to SF with me. Somehow she tells me that she and my Dad were arguing that day about whether or not A. grabbed my boob in front of my Dad when we first started dating. This was the first I’d heard of this and was pretty much like “what the hell?” So my Mom proceeds to tell me that according to my Dad, A. grabbed my boob while we were sitting in the living room talking to my Dad. First off, My Dad is a very tall man and intimidating. Second, A. is a respectful guy. There is no way this happened.

So we get to SF and I tell my Aunty Babs and she tells me that the rest of the family has known about this for years, but she agrees it couldn’t have happened. It’s a very strange experience finding out that your family has been arguing about whether or not your now husband grabbed your boob in front of your Dad for around 7 years. Hilarious and strange. Obviously I never bring this up to my Dad because the last thing I want to do is discuss my boob and their proximity to A.

I had always assumed my Dad’s initial grumpiness about A. for the first few years was because he’s my over-protective father (he discussed buying land for my and my Brother to live on together in VT when I was in college, he thought I followed A. out to SF rather than came for my own interests, etc. A tad over protective of his daughter. The first two guys I dated came over to my house for the first times and he was cleaning his guns. True story.)

Another side note, my Dad loves A. now, one of his all time favorite people.

Fast forward to my diagnosis, which was a pretty shitty day for all of us. Dad is sitting in the dining room and A. is across from him both eating. I walk in and sit down rather smugly and say “This is going to be awkward for A., but I have one thing to say to you Dad.” I have both of their attention now.

“Remember that boob grab that you think happened, but totally didn’t happen?”

“How did you hear about that?” and some additional shocked comments from Dad.

“Whatever. Anyways, I just want you to know that A. grabbing my boob probably saved my life, because he found the lump.”

My Dad sat there for a few seconds and then looked at A. across the table, grinned, and said “Nice grab” and high-fived him.

My father, ladies and gentleman.

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