So I Have Cancer

I went back and forth on how to headline this, along with some humorous options, but decided straight to the point would be the best. I recently was diagnosed with breast cancer.

I’m writing this for a few reasons. The first is that I want my friends to know, but it is really really hard to tell people. It’s terrible news and I just can’t go through the conversation that many times so I thought this would be an easy way to share what’s going on. The second reason is that I want to write about it. I need an outlet and I think it’ll be helpful to post the updates in one location too (ok maybe that’s reason 3).

It’s pretty crazy to have just turned 30 and find out I have breast cancer. I’m defying all sorts of odds because I was actually tested for the gene earlier this year and came back negative. If I could pick, I’d use that odds defying skill to win the lottery instead of have cancer, but oh well.

Currently I don’t have a lot of information. I’m going in this Friday for an MRI and Chest X-Ray and then next Thursday will meet with an oncologist and surgeon to discuss the results and next steps. I think that’ll probably be when it gets scary. Right now it’s pretty inconceivable to me that I have cancer so it doesn’t feel real and I’m trying to enjoy each of these days because I know once it’s real I won’t be able to go back. So the waiting part is totally fine for me. I promise everyone who thinks “waiting is the hardest part” that when they actually start to fix me, it’s totally going to be worse. I am cool with waiting.

On the positive side, I couldn’t be in a better place to deal with things. I’m going to DHMC which is a great hospital, I don’t have a job right now to have to sort out, A. and I are at my parents and not paying rent, and my parents are here to support us. My Mom has had it twice so she’s practically an expert and great to have for explaining all of this overwhelming new information. Basically the only thing that A. and I have to do is work on me getting better without anything else to stress about and great support.

It may take me a little to respond to email, but I promise I read it immediately and it makes me feel great, it just takes me a little bit to respond. 

I have hated pink ribbons for a long time (see notes under my Facebook page for reference) so please for the love of god don’t send me any. I would prefer pirate flags. No particular reason other than they’re kind of bad ass.

I prefer “that sucks” to “I’m sorry” because it totally sucks, but there is nothing for anyone to be sorry about. If you say “I’m sorry”, I get the immediate urge to say “It’s ok”, which is not an appropriate response, so let’s just skip “sorry” and go straight to “this sucks” and then I can agree with you instead of saying “it’s ok”.

So this sucks, but I will get through this.

xoxo

Jenna

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