And may we never have another like it. Honestly I could just end the post with that sentence.
But Happy Mother’s Day. I think it’s been 7 weeks of lockdown, but maybe it’s been 8? It stopped being important a couple of weeks ago and started just being now. This is now. For me I don’t find it helpful to think about “when this ends” because I think we’re in the long haul and there will be ups and downs. Improvements and setbacks. So I have settled as best I can into “now”.
This time has been many things, but I feel fairly confident the majority of Moms will agree with me that it’s been an intense focus on the joys and the struggles of parenthood. My son had a tough day Friday. That meant that he cried, got angry, or lost control almost all day. Sometimes it was justifiable, sometimes it was just happening. I had a lot of work to get through too and he’d woken us up in the night the night before. It wasn’t a good day. There weren’t many breaks since “rest time” ended up with me laying down with him for most of that time because he was too hysterical to be by himself. Today however was a good day. He was ecstatic about seeing his grandparents and he had lots of fun working outside with Daddy and he laughed a lot.
Most days aren’t so extreme, but they are every day. And just like most adults, kids aren’t sleeping well right now so having kids means your own sleep issues + their sleep issues = we’re all very tired.
But I’ve gotten to see my daughter start walking and now dancing. I’ve gotten to see my kids learn to have fun with each other and grow closer. I’ve gotten to watch my son get really good on his balance bike from morning walks. I’ve also gotten to experience my 3 year old starting to talk way too much like his parents (such as letting you know that ‘he can work with that’ when you offer him something). I’ve gotten to experience my 3 year old having video calls with his friends (the first one involved discussing their mutual appreciation of hot dogs and another one had them playing hide and go seek with his friend repeatedly putting the phone under blankets).
I’ve had good days and bad days as a Mom too. I’ve had days where I’ve been exhausted and didn’t have the energy to deal with meltdowns so I locked them in the closet and took a bath. Just kidding, but I have had days where I didn’t feel great about myself as a Mom. But there have been less of those than days where I’ve felt good about deescalating and comforting.
We’ve had to figure out new rules in a new normal and a lot of it has been trial and error. And I know that every parent out there is doing this right now. And while there is an amazingness to this amount of time that we are getting to spend with our kids and the understanding of them as human beings and connection we are getting to create (seriously America, stop sucking so fucking much with paid time off), it’s undeniably hard right now and exhausting.
So I see you and I wanted to tell you Happy Mother’s Day.
Happy Mother’s Day to my Mom who is being very brave right now and supportive while I know it is a daily struggle to be so far from me and her grandkids.
Happy Mother’s Day to my mother-in-law who is a mile away and through most of this has had to social distance from the kids she’s used to spending time with on a weekly basis.
Happy Mother’s Day to my wonder women Mom friends who are working and at home with their kid(s) and pregnant right now. Holy shit, I know you are getting through this because you have to but I am still in complete awe of you and you are so amazing.
Happy Mother’s Day to my friends who are pregnant for the first time and having to navigate work stress with first time Mom stress with pandemic stress. Take the moments of joy as they come and know that you too are amazing and I am so sorry that it happened like this.
Happy Mother’s Day to my Mom friends who let me vent and make me laugh over text. We’re all going to hell but it’s going to be a good time with you guys.
Happy Mother’s Day to the Moms of my 3 year old’s besties. It has been an unexpected perk to talk to you more as we navigate 3 year old video calls and attention spans and I am so looking forward to cocktails at a playground some day.
And Happy Mother’s Day to me. It’s a crazy world out there, but I’m looking forward to tomorrow with feeling special with my family and doing some fun kid activities and please for the love of God let me be able to take a nap…